Friday 5 April 2013

Kana murume/mukadzi aenda kune imwe nyika kana kujeri

Unofanira kuita sei kana maparadzana kwenhuva refu? Kuparadzana kunokonzegwa nenyaya dzakawanda.

Kusungwa woenda kujeri kwenguva yakareba
Kunotsvaka basa kune imwe nyika
Kurwara woendeswa kuhospitari kwemwedzi yakawanda.
Kusiyaniswa nebasa munyika imwe chete asi mari yebhazi moishaya kuti muonane.

Kubva mugore ra 2001 vanhu vakawanda vakabva munyika yedu vachienda kune dzimwe nyika kundotsvaka upenyu huri nani. Pavanhu ava paiva nevamwe vaiva nemhuri vakasiyana nemhuri dzavo vakandogava munhu ari ega kure uko mhuri yasarawo yega kumusha. Patakazosvika mumakore anoti 2005-2006 kwakabuda vana mai vemba vakawandisa vachisiya varume nevana mudzimba vachienda kune dzimwe nyika.

Imba yokugara
Pakubuda munyika unosvikowana dzimba dzichidhura iwe mari yawauya nayo iri shoma. Zvinokwansika kuti unonokumbirigwa navamwe kwekugara. unokwanisa kufanogara pamba yeshamwari yehama kana shamwari yako. Anokuchengeta pamwe usina mari yokutenga zvokudya kana kukwirisa bhazi kunotsvaka basa. Uya akukumbirira pamwe haana mari yokukubatsirawo. Zvinotora nguva kugadzikana wega. Vakawanda vanomboita nguva vachitambura vozowana basa votanga kuwana mukana wekuronga upenyu hwavo.


Utano:
Kana masiyana kudai pamhuri yenyu panoita nyaya dzakawanda. Murume anogara ega anokwanisa here kurarama srezvaaichiita mukadzi wake aripo? Ndedzipi nyaya dzinogozha kuramba dzakarurama.  Chokutanga inyaya yokudya zvakanaka zvinokurudzira utano. Kana murume ari ega kazhinji anorega nyaya dzokubika orarama nezvinotengwa kunzvimbo dzinotengesa zvokudya zvinokuvadza muviri zvakaita saana KFC, Chip Shop, Pizza Hut, Chinese Take Away, etc.
Munhu ange ane utano oita zimuviri senguruve yemafidha.

Shamwari: 
Chechipiri mukadzi/murume anodawo munhu mukuru wekutaura naye. Kana abva kubasa anosvikogara ega mumba musina umwe mukuru. Zvinoita ave nechishuvo chokudzokera kumusha. Ndipo panozoti akasanganawo noumwe munhu akadarowo, vanokasira kuhwisisana voshamwaridzana. Pamwe munhu wachowo iyeye anenge ane mhuri yakewo kumusha. Ushamwari hwakadai hahwaiitika dai vanhu vasina kubva kumusha. Kungowana munhu wekuita naye nyaya chinhu chaknakawo kumunhu mukuru. Foni yokufona kumusha haina kufanana nomunhu aripo.

Kuda wekuvata naye: 
Pakushamwaridzanawo paya kana shamwari uya ari wechirume iwe uri wechikadzi, mese muchiziva kuti mhuri dzenyu dziri kure kure, zvinoitika kuti umwewo musi munoita nyaya kusvika pakuhwirana tsitsi dzokushaya wekuvata naye mopedzisira mavatana imi pachenyu. Ukaterera nyaya dzavamwe vakaita dambidziko iri, unotohwisisa kuti hava kuda chihure asi kana waita gore rese uri wega mari iya yaunotambira haitsivi mhuri yako. Unoda munhu wekubata, wekukisa, wekuvata naye asi wako ari kure kure. Kuvatana kwenyu kunokwanisa kuita kwemakondomu hako kuti mimba dzisabata asi pa EMOTION apa panonetsa kushanda napo nokuti fungwa inoziva kuti mhuri yako iri kumusha.

Mapepa: 
Kana wakasiya mhuri kumusha, ndokusvika munyika yawaenda ndokuhi mirira mapepa okuti ugaremo unokwanisa kushungurudzwa nazvo. Kana muri mu UK panguva yemakore anoti 2000 -20012, waikwanisa kumirira mapepa kwemakore akawanda. Vamwe nanhasi mapepa havana. Izvi zvinoreva kuti chero pakaita rufu kumusha, haukwanisi kuenda nokuti ukabuda haukwanisi kudzoka. Zvinorevazve kuti haukwanisi kuti mhuri yako iuye kwauri. Kuzvitsanangura kwavari zvinonetsa, vanongoona sokuti uri kuita maune. Zvinopa mese maSTRESS akawanda uye DOUBT yokuti munodanana here. Pakadai ukawana munhu wekutaurira matambudziko ako iyewo ane ake kadaro, zvinokwanisika kuti munopedzisira mava muchihure pakati penyu. Vamwewo vanotoudza mhuri dzavo kuti havana mapepa asi ivo vanawo, kuti mhuri dzisada zvokutevera.

Chihure:
Kotiwo vamwe vanga vachingoti chero mhuri dzavo dziripo vanongohurirana mumba. Pavanopatsana kuhura kuya kowedzera asi mumoyo mavo vanongoti vanodanana. Chihure chiri nyore kana chitoziva kuti hapana anokuona saka hapana anokupopotera kana kukutsamwira nokuti havazivi zviri kuitika.

Muvanhu vakasiya mhuri dzavo vachienda kune dzimwe nyika mune vanhu vakawandisa vasingahuri. Vanozvichengeta chero zvodii. Asi ipapo chero uchida kuzvichengeta chero usingadi, miyedzo inowanda chete. Kana une basa risingadi ma AWA akawanda pavhiki, uchaona kuti unozvipa nguva yokusonganawo nevamwe vekwedu. Pakadai unototi usvike pamuedzo chete.  Asi tinoona vakawanda vachizvibata. Kuva kure nemhuri yako hazvirevi kuti wochiita hure. Vamwe vanoita makore mashanu, manomwe, gumi akazvipira kuti chihure bodo.


Mari:
Kana vemhuri vakaona kuti mwana wanhingi akaenda mhiri akatumira vabereki vake mota akavakira mhuri yake imba yakanaka, votofunga kuti mhiri kuya kune mari yakawanda. Iwe ukasazotumirawo mhuri yako, vofunga kuti uri kuidya nani mari yese iyoyo. Havachahwisisi kuti pamwe basa raunaro haripi mari yakawanda. Kune vakawanda vanotambira mari isingakwani kuti vagare kwavanogara saka kuzoti vatumire imwe kumusha zvonetsa. Kana wakaenda mhiri kuti upenyu hwemhuri hukwanisike, zvinokunetsa fungwa kuti sei usingawani basa rinopa mari inokwanisa zvawakavinga.

Nyaya yemari inosvitsa vakawanda pakaoma muupenyu nokuti unowana tsamba dzinobva kwese kwese dzichida mari asi iwe mari yacho hauna. Paunoituimira uya anoshandisa haafungi mawanigwe akaitwa mari yacho. Anotoshambadza kuti uyai muone kugona kwangu nomurume/mukadzi wangu. Vaya vadaidzwa vodawo kupiwa tii kubva pamari iya.  Vana vechikoro vanodawo mari .

Kana masiyana
Kana masiyana, kufungirana kunowedzera. Vakawanda havadi kubvuma kuti pakusiyana uku mukadzi/murume hapana chakaipa chaanoita. Ukazoverenga ma FORUM edu, unoohwa vakawanda vachibvunza kuti nyaya dzavo dzechihure dzoitwa sei, ipapo vari kure nemhuri. Nyaya dzakadai dzinowedzera vaya vane mhuri kure kusabvuma kuti vakavimbika.

Pakufonerana mibvunzo yokufeyafeya inowedzera.  pakutarirana ukataura chimwe chinhu, umwe wako anobvunza zvakawanda pazviri kuti ahwisise kuti chii chiri kuitika.

Pakudya unoona kuti uri wega. Paya paisigara umwe wako unozviona kuti hapana aripo.

Pakunovata unoita dambudziko rokuva LONELY chero vana varipo. munhu mukuru anodawo umwe mukuru mumba. Zvinokudya moyo zvakawanda.

Pakumuka unomuka wega. Hapana anokukwazisa. Hapana wekuudza zvawarota.

Saka pazuva rimwe nerimwe pane zvakawanda zvinokufungisa kuti uri wega. Vamwe vanopedzisira vaita DEPRESSION nazvo. Kupatsaniswa chinhu chisina kunaka pavanhu vakaroorana. Pane zvese zvinoitika hakuna kana chinhu chimwe chete chingahi chakanaka kuzhe kwekuti mari mumba inowedzera kana uyo aenda akasira kuwana basa uye mapepa.

Mutemo wechivanhu:
Pamutemo kana murume/mukadzi wako ari mupenyu haufaniri kuwana nguva yokuhura noumwe munhu chero upenyu hwarema zvakadii. Asi tinoona vamwe vakasiya mhuri vachiita zvisina kufanira. Naponapo vakazopiwa mapepa vokwira ndege voenda kunoona mhuri dzavo. Vayavo vakasiiwa kumusha vanombomiramirawo asi kana murume/mukadzi oti ava kudzoka vochinja maitire avo.

Mu South Africa mune vanhu vedu vakawanda. Vhiki yakapera ndakawana mwadhi yaitaura kuti mukadzi wemunyori anohi akabvisa mimba kumusha. Mimba yacho kwahi haisi yemunyori zvinoreva kuti ange avata noumwe munhu pasina kana kondomu. Pakutaurirana ndakadzidza kuti mukadzi akasiiwa kumusha makore maviri nokuti murume ange asina mari yokunomuona uye asina pokugara kuti mukadzi akwanisewo kuzovhakasha. Iye murume aibvumawo kuti akavata nevakadzi vakawanda asi aishandisa makondomu saka chigwere kana kumitisa haana. Saka pohwimwi apa.

Inyaya dzakawanda dzakadai. Vakawanda vava kungogamuchira chihure chevavakaroorana navo kuti mhuri ienderere mberi nokuti iye anenge achitozivawo kuti akahura. Nyaya inozonetsa kugamuchira kana iwe usina kumbohurawo asi umwe wako akahura.

Mutemo wedu unoti regai kuhura asi mamirire akaita zvinhu mazuvano ndeekuti tinoziva kuti vamwe vedu vanohura saka vaya vasingahuri mozvichengeta kuti tese tisakuvadzana nenyaya yokupatsana mudzimba.


Imbofungai nayo nyaya iyi nokuti yaputsa misha yakawandisa kuvanhu vedu. Mhosva iri papi uye inogadzirika here nyaya iyi? Ko vana vanokura sei pakadai?

Murume wako akaenda kujeri anokwanisa kusangana nezvakawanda ikoko odzoka ave umwewo munhu akanganiswa muviri wake. Vekujeri muZimbabwe havapiwi maKondomu sezvinoita kune dzimwe nyika. Kana asungwa kuzhe kwenyika yedu anokwanisa kupiwa makondomu saka zvinoita kuti adzoke asina chigwere, asi kungonotesitiwa chinhu chakanakawo. Chinonetsa kuudza murume wako kuti iwe uri kufunga kuti akaiswa chombo kumashure noumwe murume saka ngaanotesitwa. Zvinokuvadza fungwa yake kuziva kuti uri kufunga kuti aivata nevamwe varume. Asi chokwadi ndechokuti zvinokwanisa kuva zvakaitika.

Kuti mukadzi wako asakufungira izvi, iwe murume tanga nyaya yacho umuudze kuti nguva yawange usipo yakarebesa saka pamwe anokwanisa kuva akamboitawo LONELINESS saka mese endai kuTEST.

Vamwe varume/vakadzi havadi kuudzwa kuti TEST inodiwa. Kwahi wanditi ndaihura. Asi pachokwadi vamwe vedu vanohura kana murume/mukadzi asipo. Iwe haungazivi kuti wako akahura here kana kwete saka endai mese kuTEST.


Nyaya yokubuda munyika yedu yakapatsanisa mhomho huru saka vanhu vava mugungano iri vakawandisa.
Kozotizve pakufamba tichinoona mhuri dzedu apa tinosangana nevakawanda, vamwe tichifamba navo nguva refu. Kunyengana mudzindege nemabhazi e Harare-Cape Town emazuva maviri mumalift. kunoitika.  Totizve kupanana foni numbers, toti kutaurirana pa FACEBOOK, TWITTER, MY SPACE, WHATSAPP, VIBER, etc, kunowanda, zvikuru kana wako asipo. Saka endai kuTEST musati madzokerana.

Kwamuri ikoko kana zemo rakwirisa paya wapedza kutaura newako pafoni kuti unoda kumuitei pamunosangana, shandisa maoko, kana watadza shandisa kondomu, femidom, nemapiritsi emimba futi.

Kuhura nehama kwawanda futi. Toti murume aenda Joni, mukadzi asara ega pamba vanunguna nevazukuru vemurume vawaisimboudza kuti ndivo vachagara nhaka murume afa, vanosara vachisvika vachikunemera sekare. Unosvika pakumuchiva wagarisa usina anon'ona kuzasi, kusvika wamubvisira bhurugwa. Zvikangoitika kamwe chete zvotongozoitikazve futi kusvika murume adzika. Hama ikangojaira kukupindira mumba nyaya yako yokuhura haichazoperi futi nokuti mese munoziva kuti zvoitwa sei. Kuvata nomurunyana hakutani, chero ari jaya. Kuvata nomuzukuru ndizvo futi.



Ngatisanyeberana kuti chihure hakuna.

UDZAI VAMWE!!!!!

Biggest single issue to fractured Zimbabwean families in the last ten years. People studying social Sciences will have several different types of PhDs from this issue over a long period. 

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Yangu haisi comment asi mubvunzo, Ko ma forum amataura panobvunzwa nekupindurwa mubvunzo anowanikwa papi?

Mai E Chibwe said...

Vanhu vanobvunza vachida rubatsiro asi hapana rubatsiro. Vanopindura kazhinji vanongoda zvokutuka munhu abvunza asi vasingamubatsiri. Maforum evanhu vokuZimbabwe akawanda chose kubva pane ekuFacebook kusvika pane mamwe epama NEWS OUTlet se New Zimbabwe. Ukamajoina verenga mibvunzo yevanobvunza.